| changing. |
[Jun. 6th, 2007|10:18 pm] |
I know, I know.
Come back quickly, alright.
Haha. Well, I have decided to divert my posts to somewhere else.
I hope all's well for you.
Do take care, all the best with your studies and stuff.
Maybe, just maybe. |
|
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| Here I am, once again. |
[May. 17th, 2007|08:45 pm] |
Current Favourite song: Radios in heaven
Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you
Just imagine. If i ended up like you.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know whether to live or die.
Haha.
It's funny how sometimes we start quoting songs which have little or no relevance at all to our lives. And now, the debatable topic. GUYS. Ahh. Eye-candies, crushes, etc.
All guys ought to be shot. (:
Thank you Sandra, for being there for me and listening to me. And ignoring my usual weird outlook to life as a whole. I do appreciate your ways of cheering me up(force feeding, whacking, vandalising my arm and papers etc.) and yes, i do love you. Haha.
--
I know why now. |
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| trust; never again. |
[Apr. 15th, 2007|10:19 pm] |
If I Fall
By Amber Pacific
This is for the ones who believe their lives won't change
Hoping then someday things will mend and be the same
And this is for the ones who have lost it all and all that's left to gain
Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away
How can I say
Say I'll be okay
And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on
Now that the lines been broken
I'm too afraid to just look back
The pages have left an empty space
You were all I had
Why does it have to be this way
These things they'll never change
Still I'm left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need
And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on
And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on
how can i say that i'll be okay?
but then, i guess i will. somehow. |
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| it's all different. |
[Apr. 5th, 2007|08:52 pm] |
Today, my question chosen for my English composition was "the saddest day of my life."
how ironic. Mdm Sharifah said, "Janell, i know that you're going to write on this question."
The saddest day of my life. Heh.
It's all just so different without you here.
-------------------------------------
; Listen, I am alone at the crossroads.
--
i still miss you. |
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| lucidity. |
[Apr. 2nd, 2007|03:24 pm] |
; lucidity.
definition of problems:
A question to be considered, solved, or answered;
A situation, matter, or person that presents perplexity or difficulty.
it's funny how intricate people can develop their problems into.
understanding.
--
i miss you. |
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| math camp -alpha. |
[Mar. 16th, 2007|10:04 pm] |
gosh. now i know what the term 'shagged' means.
i'm a little late in posting, but yeah. i have to write about this.
saturday, 10th march.
I woke up early, went val's house to collect the $140dollars worth of snacks and drinks for the camp. Joeyee was there too, she so kindly opened the door for me. xD
After half an hour, we finally left. The reason for the hold up? val couldnt find her only set of keys(they were in her bag)
We made 3 trips to the lift and back to finish moving all the food.
At the void deck, we saw some guy wanting to commit suicide at the opposite block, the police and SCDF were there. Hmmm.
Went on that never-ending journey from val's house to the bus stop. Hailed a taxi, arrived fashionably late in school. etc.
Later we went on the math field trip to Nan Hua High, for some guy talking about Euler.
Talk was quite interesting, about solving puzzles and all.
Later i had to rush off for my theory exam(relatively easy)
Joined the others for dinner at subway, downtown east later, together with meryl.
Prasanth and MET get along so well, they just couldn't stop insulting each other.
eg.
MET: *points at double-choc chip cookie* "Hey Prasanth, it's you!"
Prasanth: "Teacher, you're full of sh*t."
MET: "At least I don't have one sitting opposite me!"
(Coincidentally, Prasanth was sitting opposite MET)
and on it goes.
later we walked back to the chalet and started our camp.
more later. |
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| Bloody hell. I'm doing homework during CNY. |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|05:55 pm] |
Electromagnetic waves.
No more playing, it’s down to serious work.
Eventually.
--
“ When I look around me, I see the tragedies;
Just below the surface, there’s a million hearts that bleed.” |
|
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| valentine's day. |
[Feb. 14th, 2007|08:46 pm] |
its valentine's day.
and me, being the weird girl i am,
don't feel the love. though i know it's there.
why? that is the question, indeed.
confiding into people makes me feel invaded. yet, its interesting.
the conflict of interest- my opinions usually don't count.
contemplation. |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|08:23 pm] |
i lied when i said i told you the truth.
well. i don't know why i feel this way, and quite frankly. i don't want to know.
so please spare me from all those questions.
--
special note to a special friend:
hey. relax, things will turn out fine. it's over and done. you cant change the past, but you can decide what your future's gonna be like. (: smile.
--
" & then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you."
oh well.
-
life goes on. |
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| layeeodl-layeeodl-layeeo. |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|09:08 pm] |
high on a hill was a lonely goatherd
layeeodl-layeeodl-layee-o
loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
layeeodl-layeeodl-o.
i've gotta find a song to sing. fast. or maybe i can just yodel for my exams. (:
hmmm. |
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| i've got to get away. |
[Jan. 23rd, 2007|09:06 pm] |
go away.
go away.
go away.
go away.
i've gotta get away to someplace where no one else can bother me.
i hate not being able to be connect with people, not being able to be on the same wavelength with them.
there must be something wrong with me.
if only i knew the reason. |
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| one more day with you. |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|10:18 pm] |
" you walked away
just one more day
it's all i need
it's one more day with you. "
ostracism. from others, and myself.
i feel detached. somehow. |
|
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| what's happening? |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|07:36 pm] |
what's happening?
well, i don't know either.
it suddenly feels so cold.
i guess i'll just have to warm myself up.
i won't turn my back on you- |
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| TAG. |
[Dec. 29th, 2006|08:41 pm] |
well. that's it.
TAG. three letters. three words. memorable experiences.
half a year, and that's it.
the seniors.
we've tried so hard to live up to them. we've tried so hard to fill their shoes.
i hoped we've managed to do so.
Ryan- thanks for helping me out. i doubt that i could have gone through some of my days without your encouragement. and thanks for leading tag. relax, and take care. thank you.
Huiwen- my lovely, always suntanning senior. i remembered the times when i used to be afraid of you. haha. but i know that though you're strong-willed, you still care for all of us. thank you.
Yuanli- you're always the 'new boyfriend'. i love your sense of style girl. and your laugh. thanks for the patience, in the time you made me memorise 'deck the halls'. thank you. it's paid off.
Denise- hello. thanks for all the funny talks. and for being so easy-going. thank you, and help me say hello to tube. (=
Licia- i haven't really talked to you much. but hey, even with the lack of conversation. i can tell that you love singing and you love us. haha. thank you.
Chewy- hello. you're really nice. and yes, i do know your name. (= im awfully sorry for not really talking to you. take care yeah, and thank you.
Mervyn- thanks for being so crazy and hyper. you've really taught me some very important lessons. thank you.
Liang- though you're quite humble, well you're cool. xP haha, keep up that playful side. and gain a slighty more serious one alright. well, thanks anyway.
Debbie- wow. i don't know how you managed tag AND choir. i'll still be seeing you girl. thanks for the long talks. good luck for next year.
Xiaoyan- i'll be seeing you again next year. yaye. i've really enjoyed the laughter, both in choir and tag. all the best for next year.
--
the sec ones and twos.
the ones whom experienced the memories with me. the ones i love.
Syed- though you're no longer in tag, you've made up most of the memories i have in the senior tag this year. in acafest. thanks for all the crazy times together. really missed you.
Xuefang- well, you're really fun to be with. it's been a great joy to perform with you. take care yeah. be a good psl.
Xuehen- hello, O quiet one. i know that deep within, you have that crazy self just waiting to be drawn out. let it out. xP
Steph- the one with the angelic voice. *waves* remember tag when you're all famous and stuff alright? heh. make sure you do us proud. -wink-
Xueer- my cute little junior. all innocent *coughs* and small. yeah, you'll soon be taller than me. sing your heart out, girl. take care.
Amanda- the girl who hides a loud soul beneath a quiet voice. hmmm. enjoy yourself while performing. continue smiling. (=
Jazreel- i thought i knew you, but i guess i don't really. however, what i do know is that you can achieve great things. please take care of yourself. love you.
--
Claire- been through so much with you. more than i can ever talk about. i only have two words to say: stay gold. take loads of care girl. love you. thanks for including me in part of your life. all the best for next year.
--
Mr Oh- thank you, laoshi. or should i say, 'shifu'.
--
all the best, guys. and girls. and in-betweens. xP |
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| long time. |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|09:48 pm] |
"you take my song, turn it to light
you take my heart, and you open my sight
i will be yours, and you will be mine
evermore. "
status of relationships.
friends: alright.
family: less arguments.
those i love: good.
myself: normal.
alright.
that's all. |
|
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| east coast park - the sequel. |
[Oct. 17th, 2006|09:13 pm] |
well. back to east coast again today.
and now, i look like a lobster from jumbo.
went cycling with: meryl, limjun, sandra, yijun. we got pangsehed by yiren and ryan cause yiren's toe was swollen. hmmm.
we slogged our whole morning building sandcastles/sandcity/sandhospital.
after the whole post-exam activity thing, we walked for like 5km to go to macdonalds for lunch.
and after that, we went cycling.
it was very fun.
end of story.
and this is the reason why i never write descriptive compos. |
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| does it matter? |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|03:54 pm] |
wheeeee.
okay now my feet's aching because i went blading with claire's friends at ECP today.
hohohohoho. they're really fun to be with.
well. basically. that's what i did on the last day of exams.
tick tock tick tock.
before that. we had chinese listening compre, and we were all stoning in the hall.
i was doodling on my paper(as usual), limjun was worrying whether roxy square's lan shop was going to be packed with the sec2s or not, etc.
i think that we all have short attention spans.
ooooh. my rabbit just stood up on its hind legs. adorable.
anyway. where was i? oh yeah.
hmmm. i like autumn. the end of Old, the beginning of New.
-
well. i've managed to block out my feelings for some time. if only you wont be around for these few days. knowing that i can't get someone whom i constantly see is horrible. that gnawing feeling in me. that emptiness.
" hopeless devotion
broken emotion
ripped devastation
useless desperation. "
-
my friend just told me that her school has these kind of friendship problem too.
why can't people just try to understand? is it THAT HARD to listen to others?
now, take a moment.
to listen. to just listen.
listen to the whirring of the fan(or air-con).
listen to the creaking of your chair.
listen to the cars zooming by outside.
listen to the hurt screaming from within a person.
listen to your heart. and follow it.
i don't think that it's that difficult, isn't it.
oh well. i guess i can't change people's outlook of life. im just a fifteen year old girl who rants on and on about stuff which most people don't care about.
keyword : most.
the remnant of them do.
and that is all that matters. |
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| blah. random. |
[Oct. 6th, 2006|11:11 pm] |
chemistry exam today.
the poem which i wrote halfway-
i stare blankly at my paper
while everyone else is writing away
my mind is filled with haze
oh, why must chem paper be today?
chlorine, sulphur, zinc
and all the other elements
make no sense at all
who really cares if hydrogen burns?
...
yeah, basically that's it. i wrote it during collection of the papers. It's really amazing what boredom can do to you.
I seemed to have hurt people unintentionally. I'm sorry.
A choice to change. I'm making it.
that decision. a difficult one nonetheless.
"it's so obvious
anyone can see
that now i'm on
the brink of insanity."
observing people is extremely interesting. there seem to be a similar pattern in all relationships. hmmm.
aim: compounding all the info and writing a book.
motivation: curiousity.
--
dang.
i love you.
your enigmatic presence, it comforts me. |
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| just letting you know. |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|06:43 pm] |
we can't be the same again.
can we?
there's a part of me which holds on to the hope that we'll be as close as before.
but, when i see you with them, laughing and joking,
the hope slowly fades away.
minute by minute.
day by day.
will this hope become transparent?
it's still there.
whether you choose to see it or not, is another question altogether.
i miss the times we've had. the shared laughter and tears during class times.
'A special moment shared between friends, should be cherished. Forever.'
i miss you, my cherished one. |
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| damn. |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|09:16 pm] |
i'm sorry for hurting you.
thank you, for the caramel memories.
i do love you, just not in the way you want me too.
thanks again, so much.
take care <3
well. these few days have indeed been enjoyable.
sadness seeping into my heart.
ouch. i guess i deserve it anyway. |
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